the problem with not being bruce cockburn

i am not bruce cockburn though i look enough like him when i have my hair buzzed (like my profile photo) that people in bars send me drinks to congratulate me on my latest album. not being bruce is really a hassle sometimes.

the first problem with not being bruce is an ethical one, that is, "do i send the drink back?" or do i enjoy it and pray that no one hands me a guitar and asks to hear a verse or two of if a tree falls. god knows that i wished i had written that song, especially the line "hacked by parasitic greedhead scam". but i didn't, so i have to smile, say, "no, i am not bruce" and, almost always, pay for my own scotch.

not being bruce is also a financial burden. if i was bruce, with thirty albums under my belt and a place in the canadian music hall of fame (okay so its not the rock and roll hall of fame but it ain't bad) i am sure that my ira would be in most excellent condition. i don't imagine that bruce worries too much about whether he should punt his dsl service in favor of sitting at the trident cafe for three hours every day because there's free wireless. i love the trident but how much sencha tea can i drink?

now i know that this may be difficult to imagine, but not being bruce is cutting into my social life. i am pretty sure that bruce goes to much more interesting parties, much more often, than i do. i mean, the guy gets to hang out with sam phillips. how fucking cool is that?

but the most important shortcoming in not being bruce? if i were bruce i am positive that i would be a "blog of note" in about two minutes.

damn. i wish i played guitar.

tags: cockburn, envy